Me, myself & I

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Who am I? What I am? It would be quite difficult to describe myself in just a few words. Basically, I’m in the process of finding out who I really am. I’ve been in that process for some years now, so maybe it’s nearing its end stages. Not that we human-beings could ever say that we’re done, complete, that we’ve reached our final, irrevocable version. But a version of thine self follows you most of your life, so mine, since it’s been in the works for quite some time, should be ready to sail anytime. Hopefully.

The past few years have been a roller-coaster for me. I’d never could’ve imagined myself in the places and situations I found myself into or in which I brought myself into. I traveled a lot, experienced a lot, learned a lot, suffered a lot (not physically, mind you) and grew into a different person. Not an entirely different person, but an updated one, that much is sure. Mostly with useful software and almost none of that malware or spyware. I learned German, a language I’d previously considered as ugly as hell. I’m learning Norwegian right now and at the same time I’m trying to bring my English to a whole new level of proficiency. My new found love for foreign languages ought to have come earlier in my live, but well, we try to make the best of what we have…

Most of what I’ve experienced was only partially created by me and my will. It was shaped by me, but on overall, stuff happened when I least expected it to and how I least expected it to. Not much of it could’ve been foresaw. And that’s the beauty of it. I got to experience stuff I’d never even dreamt of while having little to no idea what the future would look like. When I was little I hardly imagined myself ever crossing the borders of my country, as if that was some feat worthy of only a few. Nowadays, with it being so easy to cross borders, more and more people are traveling, that’s true, but that does not mean that everybody readily crosses borders. And even when that happens, there are a lot of factors which affect one’s experience abroad. Mine was awesome, despite the setbacks I kept encountering and now I’m happy to have had such a few past years.

Who knows what the future has in store for me? Right now I’m trying to write some sort of novel, part real, part fiction, namely A European Story. Like Charles Dickens did with some of his partially autobiographic books. Not that I’m comparing myself to him, God forbid! But since I went through some great stuff and as it felt like a lot to digest, so dense and diverse the events were, I now want to recollect it, write about it so that I’d always have it as a memory. On top of the real events I’d add a layer of fiction so that it becomes more interesting for the general reader. It may not always be clear which parts are true and which are not. Don’t try to figure it out, ’cause it’s quite difficult, if not impossible. The first part of the journey, The Awakening, will climax violently but will be followed by more soothing events. Hopefully I’ll learn something from writing this…

Anyhow, this project of mine is a hell of a task, I’ll be experimenting a lot and then come back and re-edit the whole thing. I want to find a style which fits me, which makes me proud of what I wrote. And that does not come easily unless you’re some true-born extremely gifted person, which I am not. But I’ll try my best. I want to publish other things as well, in English, German, Romanian and hopefully, at some point in the future, in Norwegian or French as well. Basically anything that I deem worthy to be read by another human being.

Cheers & always keep your chins up!

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