Change of heart

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Why a change of heart? Or better said, is it actually a change of heart I’m talking about here? It’s difficult to say. After reading this it might look more like a change of brain cells, but I just don’t know how to call it. I’d be lying if I said that I have had anything but wonderful years since I’ve finished high school. Sure, sometimes it felt like a maddening rollercoaster, but even so I can say that I’ve been happy pretty much continuously for these past few years. I’ve managed to tour quite a bit of Europe and I’ve got rid of some fears of mine, I’ve learnt that some people deserve my whole appreciation and much more…

But nothing could compare to how I feel right now. How I’ve been feeling the past few weeks. I am happy for no other reason whatsoever apart from the fact that I’m enjoying taking pictures in Cluj. Of Cluj. About Cluj. Featuring Cluj. Featuring its sights, its nature, its people. It’s certainly not the best city I’ve visited or lived in, not the most beautiful or the cleanest…in fact, there’s nothing here which is able to make me so happy, logically speaking. But still, I am so. ’cause logic is overrated. A shocker, really, but life’s curious that way. The fact that I’m taking pictures is the sole reason for my happiness. Or so I’m perceiving it. I may be wrong, but it feels that on a microscopical scale something is happening inside my brain cells which is making me ignore the nasty bits of life. For now it’s nothing else other than a warmth sensation, but I bet it will mean more, much more in the future. ’cause I’ve a feeling it will all add up.

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A little introductory explanation as to why I say that pictures are modifying that brain of mine. For example, Șomeșul Mic (featured in the picture above), the river flowing right through Cluj’s city core from west to east is not the most impressive river one could have flowing through one’s city. In fact it’s quite mundane, to be sincere. But by taking pictures of it I am (consciously but most importantly unconsciously) erasing any imperfections it has and replacing them with beauty. Either simple or a little more art-oriented. But beauty nonetheless. A beauty which sticks to me like its some sort of self-applying glue.

Another example: the city-centre can be a bit of a mess at times, buildings are beginning to crumble all over the place, there’s too many people running around, muuuch too many noisy cars, but in pictures everything looks and feels better. Especially with some filters. Even those awful cables which one can’t hope to avoid while taking pictures, even they seem better in pictures. One could say that it’s useless if it’s realy nice only in pictures, but the fact is that I’m somehow managing to transfer that captured beauty into my brain, into my memory and by doing that I’m replacing anything I don’t enjoy about the city with what I do. Centre or not, it doesn’t matter. And it’s not merely a temporary replacement, but a continuous and long-term one. Basically I’m lying myself that the city is more than it is and that I’m enjoying it more than I actually do. It’s a skill I’ve aquired (don’t ask me where from) and I’m soo very proud of it! It’s odd that I’ve no idea whatsoever as to how I’ve aquired it, but I sure did. And it’s marvelous skill to posses!

I’m not saying that Cluj is not nice enough in and by itself, but photos make it better. In my humble opinion 🙂

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Moments are kept there for easy remembering when they are photographed. Sometimes a picture is the work of pure chance and coincidence, but other times it’s all about planning. No matter how a picture comes to life,  what counts most is having the camera on you at all times. I have it, and apart from that, most days I’m walking miles and miles through the city. It’s only natural that some photos came to life as they did, because I was willing to be there to take them. Some examples, below.

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I just loved finding the right angle from which to take a picture of this man and those pigeons. The fact is that I’ve had very little time to find that precise angle with which I could be happy with, because yeah, people (and pigeons) don’t stay put (of their own volition and/or when I want them to). I took three pictures (I think) and this is the best of them. I don’t know about it being all that good in the eyes of professional photographers, but in my eyes it felt (and it feels) just right. Righter than right. A couple of such pictures a day make me feel…well…I can’t explain how, but brilliant in any case.

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Another good example of a great moment would be the picture above: I actually moved around and waited a while in order to take it, but it fills my heart with joy to be able to re-see these two random lovers climb those steps towards the Belvedere Hotel. That moment is gone, but the picture remains and it’s infinitely better than a simple memory. If only somebody took a similar picture of me and afterwards showed it to me! (of course, for that I would need a girlfriend, which is kind of a tricky business).

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Here, in this picture, it’s only the sun and the right moment which did the job. It feels like it’s an edited picture (heavily, even), but it’s not. It’s just chance. By chance it feels like in a fairy tale, as if I was in Enchanted.

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This combination of red, green and white is not one could hope to find very often, at least not while avoiding getting out of one’s home “’cause of the awful weather”. Yeah, the weather was awful, but I took some pictures which otherwise would not have come to life. I chose ignoring the weather and it paid off! In full!

There are many examples like these above and I think I’m gonna analyze some more of them in the future, but for now I’m stuck reading some books about photography. I still think that it’s not about theory but about the love for beauty and the passion for constantly taking pictures, but it couldn’t hurt to be a little more educated on the subject. Who knows what the future might bring me! In the end, one more favorite of mine:

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