“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself dissapears.” Marc Aurelius
Each of us has his or her reasons for being sad. Sometimes. But there are people who are sad most of the time. To a certain degree, again, sometimes, it’s understandable, but being in a continuous state of self pity ain’t gonna help nobody. Neither the person in cause nor his friends & family. Emotions such as sadness, sorrow, lack of self worth, hopelessness, melancholia, gloominess, heavyheartedness, depression → they are all connected. Apart of being quite synonymic in nature. But it is we who connect them, who allow it to happen. I’m not saying that there are no sad things in the world or that you’re supposed to laugh at your mother’s funeral. Which is actually not that bad an idea if she was really old and helpless, you know? You could laugh ’cause it all ended for her, that she’s free. You could feel happy for her. There’s no reason for you to feel abandoned anymore, ’cause if your mother was old enough, so are you. Get real!
Anyhow, that is difficult, I understand. But you should try and see the glass as half full, not half empty. The truth is that the glass may even be completely empty, for some, at some point, but glasses can be filled & if broken, new ones can be bought. You could even make one of your own with your own two hands, just like I sad in the previous post from today; you could if you had the willpower. It doesn’t take geniuses to blow into a bell glass through a blowpipe and create a new, self-customized glass. It actually never takes geniuses to do anything. It takes willpower. A will-less genius would not be able to invent anything, while a strong-willed but rather common individual with no apparent brilliantness can invent a lot of stuff, if only he or she put his or her brains to work.
Happiness is a strange concept. One could say that it doesn’t exist. One could say that it’s too damn difficult to reach and even more difficult to maintain it as a continuous state of happiness. But I’m not using the word like some do, like it was some kind of idealistic and too close to perfection state of being. That does not exist, indeed it doesn’t, a life in which everything is perfect and you’re so happy that you could explode. Or implode. But as I previously said in my post about perfection, an achievable perfection exists, as well as an achievable happiness. And a pretty constant one at that, mind you! It’s difficult to keep seeing the glass half full all the time, I realize, but it can be done. Lesser people than me managed it.
What does achievable perfection mean? Well, most of those really impressive buildings around the globe we see and admire are perfect designs. Perfect by design. Completely mathematical. They are not indestructible or forever lasting, but with care and a little bit of luck, a Gothic cathedral such as the one I simply love, the one in Strasbourg, le Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Strasbourg/ Straßburg Münster, can survive intact even more than some of the most impressive skyscrapers out there. It is perfect in nature, as much as the Pyramids are or as the natural world is. The natural world is not indestructible, we all know that, but in many ways it is perfection incarnated. Such as your body is. It may get sick, but it is so complex that you’d barely be able to call it anything else than perfect. That is why I strongly believe in an achievable perfection, ’cause we live in such a complex but still manageable world and have so amazing bodies. If these can be managed, then that achievable perfection could indeed exist, be reached, be maintained. Be part of our lives. So, if that can really be reached, why shouldn’t we step in an achievable constant state of happiness? I’m not talking about religious stuff or anything like that. I’m talking about down-to-earth, no nonsense happiness, not preaches, dreams, philosophical or psychological stuff. I hate that. I’m not talking like that. I have not studied such nonsense & I don’t intend to! What I’m saying is “enjoy the little things in life and you’ll see the bigger picture!” ⇒⇓
“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.’
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.” Chinese Proverb
Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters sums it all up pretty good as well:
So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
All that I’ve previously said applies to relationships as well: if one is not happy while being by itself, single, one cannot hope to become happy because of someone else. In fact, the unhappy partner could even bring down the spirits of the happy partner and who’d want that? If you don’t feel happy enough, if you’re insecure and not able to distinguish your qualities from your faults, then don’t get in relationships! Period. Get yourself and your life straight first and only then go chasing skirts (if you’re a man; I’m not encouraging women to do the same, if ya’ know what I mean). It takes two happy enough people to maintain an equilibrated relationship. If one falls into depression at some point than, yeah, then it is ok to raise their spirits. But not for one to enter a relationship with the hope of being ‘transformed’. It don’t work like that, no siree!
About getting your life straight: “It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” Lucille Ball «» Yeah, figure it out how to be happy and then jump for joy, jump into relationships, jump all over…just don’t jump off a cliff, as you’d have done in your previous unhappy, almost suicidal state! :))
I’ve got my own reasons to be sad. I’ve had a lot in the past and right now I can think of a couple. But fuck them! I’m learning French & it feels like the best thing I could do; I’m trying to develop my writing skills in English and it feels satisfying; I’m spending some time doing something I’ll not talk about here, but which feels even better. See, I’m happy because of as few as these three reasons alone! In fact, I could think of more, ’cause of course, they exist.
In order to be able to see the better things in life, listen to Vivaldi’s Seasons. It is so refreshing and it’s like the composer’s trying to say something to his audience without using words. If you can’t hear his message right now, repeat the process over the course of time and maybe you will. I know that you will!
For Romanian language speakers, listen to this.
Life’s great, enjoy it like Bobby McFerrin!